I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on tv.
But you can can put it in the books, I will win the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 2011. It's a lock (hell, they give those things to anybody anyways)
Much like my fellow revolutionaries; the neurologist Charles Bell, pediatrician Hans Asperger and physician Georges Albert Gilles de la Tourette. I have made a diagnostic breakthrough that hopefully with proper care can help the afflicted lead normal and productive lives. As they say, realizing you have a problem is the first step to a cure.
Even more so than a great medical mind I am a political animal, and throughout my travels I have encountered many a wounded gazelle on the field of debate. I have always gone with my instinct and pounced and preyed on their weakness. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy sir, Cobra Kai style.
But I'm beginning to feel mercy out of pity. These are sick people and need help. Serious help. Donkey what they hell are you talking about? Well, I'm glad you asked. I will give you some case studies before continuing.
STUDY ONE:
Me: Now that President Obama has seen the error of his ways during the campaign, I am glad he has decided to keep Gitmo open and the terrorists behind bars in the interest of national security.
Liberal: Bush Cheney Halliburton Bush Lied Kids Died Blood for Oil
Me Huh?
Liberal: Bush
STUDY TWO:
Me: I read in the New York Times that Paul Krugman thinks that "death panels" might not be a bad idea after all, if cost is to be the major consideration for universal health care.
Liberal: Palin is a stoopid Caribou Barbi
Me: Huh?
Liberal: Bristol is fat
STUDY THREE:
Me: I question the fairness and journalistic integrity of Gwen Ifill moderating a debate, considering that she is writing a sure to be flattering bio on one of the participants.
Liberal: Fuck FOX Fuck Faux Noise
Me: Huh?
Liberal: Glenn Beck advertises gold!
Me: Huh?
STUDY FOUR:
Me: Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs?
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel. 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Me: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
Ok, they got me on the last one but as you can see, much like Bell's Palsy, Tourette's and Asberger Syndromes, the three previous cases involve facial twitching, incoherent outbursts, and social awkwardness.... but combined into one mega-disorder that will be henceforth be known as The Rhidonkulous Thunderdrome in honor of our many liberal victims, err patients ...(and Mel Gibson).
Yeah, and I was kind of kidding about a cure. These nimwits are beyond help.
Ee-Aw!!!
9 comments:
I do know that old childrens tale from the sea.....ahhh..memories...
dr.dr.dr.dr.dr.dr. doccctorrr...dr.
No cure for this disease unfortunatley, although some people have been known to just grow out of it. I remember when I was much more lefty than I am now.
And then experience and common sense hit me like a lightening bolt....oh and Ronald Reagan got elected to his second term just as I started to actually pay attention (at about age 15 or so) mainly because I couldn't stand my social studies teacher and wanted to be able to argue with him and embarrass him in front of the class. (it didn't work out the way I planned) But it was a good foundation.
So your prognosis is that liberalism is like teenage acne? Unpleasant to look at, but sometimes just goes away on its own? Interesting point.
For the most part though, I think its terminal. Take our current President for example, he has broken just about every camapign promise he made and the vast majority of liberals will still vote for him. Its a disease.
Conservatives voted HW Bush out of office for breaking one.
First, take a look at OpEdNews or DailyKos--Obama is being savagely critized, so your point that we overlook his faults is just flat-out wrong. Will we vote for him again? Only if he runs against a Republican.
Second, Paul Krugman never said death panels were a good idea. Prove me wrong.
Gary is not smart....prove me wrong!
So you cannot disprove my two points. Krugman was pointing out the idiocy of the wingnuts. They say Obamacare will cost more. They also say (falsely) that it has death panels. But death panels would save money (if they existed, and Krugman wasn't advocating them).
And liberals do criticize Obama. All the time. There may even be a primary challenge.
And I never said I was smart. Just smarter than you (and George Bush and Sarah Palin).
"Some years down the pike , we're going to get the real solution, which is going to be a combination of death panels and sales taxes. Its going to be that were actually going to to take Medicare under control, and we're going to have to get some additional revenue, probably from a VAT"
He sure done did tell dem crazy wingnuts.
Then when called out for his shenanigans on This Week, he tried to back track...
"health care costs will have to be controlled, which will surely require having Medicare and Medicaid decide what theyre willing to pay for - not really death panels, of course, but consideration of medical effectiveness and, at some point how much we're willing to spend for extreme care"
Um, you mean death panels.
I realize that liberals rarely say what they mean or mean what they say, but explain to me how those two statements are an indictment of the "wingnuts"? And what does a VAT tax have to do with the right?
Dont answer, it doesnt.
He put his foot in his mouth, with the side effect of proving Sarah Palin's point, so now we get this spin to pay no attention to that man behind the curtain these are not the droids you are looking for and Krugman was just joshing around with those crazy tea-baggers.
Youre out of yo damn mind.
Hmmm..... sure does sound like Krugman was agreeing with Sarah Palin....and you know Krugman is a Nobel winner so according to gary that means he's never ever to be challenged! EVER! I think the royal society and those other global warming groups that gary always cites have given krugman an award too!
What a conundrum....Sarah Palin and Paul Krugman are saying the EXACT SAME THING about Obamacare...
Wait, I think I just heard gary's head explode!
I was referring to these comments by Krugman: http://nation.foxnews.com/paul-krugman/2010/03/30/krugman-death-panels-will-save-us-money
so thanks for calling the other comments to my attention and I concede he used the term "death panels" although I accept his explanation as to what he meant.
shoot....i really thought that noise was garys head exploding.
So anyway gary linked to krugman advocating the use of death panels...or as I like to put it, proving Sarah Palin was 100% correct.....so his point is.......to prove donkey's point? I guess?
Post a Comment