Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Oprah Hole Goes Deep

I had a small party recently and some Ninja Aurorans were in attendance, and yes Rhino the karaoke machine was rocked out...you happy? Now call me a fag and be done with it already.

Moving on...

The topic of Oprah came up and the theory was floated around that perhaps I am infatuated with the woman. Thats what I get for telling friends about the blog, good thing everybody already knew that I was insane.

I protested my innocence, but alas here I am one more time writing about her for, on my word, the last time.

I recently summed up my position that I believe Oprah has plans to take over the world and use the evil iPod from Apple as her means of doing so. If you missed it, you can catch the recap here.

Pretty far fetched idea you say, and you'd be correct...only problem is that Im right, with one slight correction. She will use the iPod and the iPhone.

Since that last post it has been revealed that multi-billion dollar internet conglomerate Cisco has filed suit against Apple for patent infringement over the use of the name Iphone. Seems Cisco has had that name registered for quite some time and were planning a product launch in mid '07. Apple fears not Cisco, and went ahead with their own version of the iPhone.

Apple dared not act so cavalierly when it comes dealing with Oprah...

"Sources have told MacDailyNews that "marketing types" within Apple Computer have discussed skipping the "G6" moniker or ending the "G" CPU naming scheme with the "G5" due to the potential confusion and/or dilution caused by the recent debut of General Motor's Pontiac G6, otherwise known as "The Oprah Car." 276 Pontiac G6s were given to surprised audience members on The Oprah Winfrey Show to celebrate the start of her 19th season"

source

In other words they chose to mess with an internet giant eleven miles away in San Jose, instead of one woman two thousand one hundred and sixty five miles away (but whose reach is all consuming).

Now thats what I call shitting in your own backyard.

Be afraid, be very afraid! Apple is.

21 comments:

Rhino-itall said...

karaoke fag

Anonymous said...

You say that now, but just you wait til you hear the donkey metal version of total eclipse of the heart, then you'd um yeah well ... nevermind.

...point conceded.

Anonymous said...

Rhino you can get karaoke rap. No?

I have to drink alot to do Karaoke. I get talked into songs I have no business doing, and I actually did that song a long time ago because I had some rasp from smoking. Shots made it worse.

Rhino-itall said...

don't ask me, i've never done karaoke.
I don't do that stuff. I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.
I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Anonymous said...

I NEVER would be a party to Karaoke! How shameful! I can see hippies like Miss Lizzy behaving in such a decadent fashion but not myself...unless of course there were Elvis tunes available.

I try not to drink while I do Karaoke because the drink tends to get all over, what with the spittle and general spillage caused by singing while trying to swallow. Kind of like gargling I guess...

Saying, "trying to swallow" is certainly not something I am very comfortable stating which is another reason I don't drink while singing...or gurgling for that matter.

No one should have to try and swallow. Swallowing should come naturally. I will stop now.

Anonymous said...

I know you are important. .

You guys are both important. I however am not important at all but I'm happy as hell for you guys.

I like to see you happy.

Anonymous said...

See, Rhino has no trouble swallowing. His whole apartment is rich with wood. You're ready for Karaoke buddy.

Rhino-itall said...

you see fly the fact that swallowing comes natural to you must have made you popular in the joint, but we don't need to talk about it here. please.

Rhino-itall said...

lily, i'm important, donkey is impotent. there's a difference.

Anonymous said...

Settle down cowboy...I was just a little excited by today's Blog Title, "The Oprah Hole Goes Deep."

By the way (that's for you Rhino), did you see the South Park when Oprah held herself hostage? Well, she didn't hold herself hostage...it was...her? Her bits & pieces. I guess that's the best way to describe it, what with the comment policy that I am trying to circumvent (i.e. Rhino's comments -leather-bound & rich mahogany!). Apparently, Oprah's bits & pieces were very depressed by he lack of activity w/the opposite gender.

You think Apple's scared of her...how would you like to be her boyfriend? Don't answer that Donkey...

Anonymous said...

That why I always wear a tux. If Im going to be impo-tent, I might as well look impo-tent.

Anonymous said...

Very good...Ebonics ain't dead.

It's very pasta bowl that you is ad-uh-quit.

Why is it that certain words can be so much more fun to say than othuz?

Being great is obviously better than being adequate but it definitely isn't as much fun to say...

My new favorite word to say is "necessary."

For instance, "I need to take a piss. It is very nessa-uh-sarrie."

anita said...

yeah, yeah. the donkey's impo-tent. so what.

but, be he bona-fide?

Anonymous said...

suggestion for an aurora event: rock and roll karaoke at arlene's. full band available to sing in front of. supposed to be two tons of fun.

you guys ever been?

Anonymous said...

Never for karaoke. A friends band useta play there often. Rhino..you remember Blister Rust?

The problem with that is I have a rock n roll voice when singing Captain & Tennille, when I sing actual rock n roll, I just sound like a jackass chewing on sandpaper.

Ok then, so thats settled...is next Monday good for everyone?

anita said...

is singing absolutely required? last time i sang a restraining order was put out against me.

Rhino-itall said...

Was Blister Rust rich's band?

Anonymous said...

How cosmic! I've done Captain and Tenille too. Um, with a woman.
Anyone like Burlesque>

Ok, stupid question.

Anonymous said...

No... Murph Dog's old bosses. "Drink bong water" ring a bell?

I kid. Ive actually been told I should sing solo...

...So low that noone can hear me

badumpbump

You dont have to sing, but you do have to earn your backstage pass.

Ive gone to a few burlesque around the city, but I find the money is better spent at The Penthouse Club

Rhino-itall said...

oh yeah, i saw them twice. Once out on the island with mary mary why you buggin in attendance.
they sucked by the way.

Anonymous said...

Yes they did.