I know just this morning I swore that I would never utter thy name Oprah again. However circumstances have arisen that warrants Auroraction.
Upon my arrival home this evening I was greeted by my subscription to Valu-Pak and a scornful look from my doorman ---Im not entirely certain but I may have put him in a chokehold the other night. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, a pretty typical Wednesday.
But as I entered my abode, something caught my eye that didnt strike me as the usual underdoor guerrilla marketing literature.
As I bent down to pick It up, I was befuddled, yeah thats right.... befuddled.
...and for good reason. This is what I found.
Uh Oh! She knows where I live.I have never ordered from this ristorante nor have I ever ate their pizza. I dont even think Im in their delivery range. Its apparent she is sending a message.
Message received loud and clear.
This is war!
Now wait a gosh dang second here, what the F am I talking about....
We know youre reading Oprah... You win. ( but who the hell is Gayle?)
Now dont get the wrong impression. I fear no man and Oprah is no exception, but I am willing to negotiate a cease fire for the enviroment's sake. Todays its one flyer, tomorrow its ten and I can not and will not allow our petty grievances to kill the Rain Forest. Its what Sting would want.
My fellow Aurorans there is nothing to fear but tis Oprah herself, but we are not I repeat not surrendering...just strategically redeploying.
EE-Aw!!!
Now wait a gosh dang minute here...yeah actually thats pretty much exactly what were doing --- surrendering.
11 comments:
Gayle is Oprah's best friend. She supposedly uses the "n" word but is thinking about giving it up...plus she takes her dog to a pet phsyciatrist. I have only watched Oprah a couple of times over the last ten years but I have gathered this much about Gayle: She is Oprah's "Yes" woman basically, she is Oprah's "n" word.
This pizza ranking was absolutely outrageous. Half of the pizza places were in the midwest which is a joke...Deep dish is not real pizza. It's not even a calzone or a stromboli. Real pizza comes from the Big East. She better recognize.
My sister in law sent me the Oprah pizza list in an email attachment. And no mention of Star Tavern in Orange, New Jersey. Oprah better watch her back. She has made an enemy of a person who is way more cultured in the arena of Italian Frisbees than herself. Don't fucking mess with pizza, bitch. You obviously don't know what you are talking about...
1. when are you going to get over this obsession with oprah (and gayle)? i'm beginning to think that, deep down inside, you just want to be oprah's boy (or her pack animial).
2. when is oprah going to come out of the closet?
Oprah is gay?
I just saw the Oprah where she goes with Gayle to stay with an Amish or some kind of no-technology family and they have to go to the bathroom outside.
I dont really watch that kind of tv, as I have discussed at length with the Rhino who MUST have seen Pirate Mythbusters last night. I swear I wish I could have phone-pic'd Carrie in her wench outfit for him. (and what girl doesnt enjoy dressing in a wench outfit?)Yeah, I'm one of those idiots that send pics on the phone in traffic.
They busted a hole through FOUR pig carcasses with a damn canonball!
NOW THATS FUCKING TELEVISION!!
i don't send pics on the phone. i just learned HOW TO TAKE pics with my phone.
anyway, wench outfits aside (?!), are you kidding me rhino? oprah is as gay as ... hmmm ... this belongs in the comparison game on the message board.
speaking of wench outfits, i think donkeyhue should wear one to the karaoke fest ... i do believe, from reading this blog, he's starting to get in touch with his inner girly girl.
;)
Anita I send alot of pics because my friends are all scattered around, and its just a new stupid thing to do.
I dont really like phone conversations so its a way to reciprocate contact without getting bogged down with chatter. I can just send a picture of my cat sleeping and all the females are happy.
Of course there are the males, that take different animal pics like mating cats and dogshit. I delete all that.
And..
No offense to you, Anita. I know how you love cats.
I concur Fly. Deep Dish is not pizza. Its the bastardized red sauced italian cousin of quiche.
The Aurora have been in ongoing negotiations to feature
Kari as MOTW, but are unable to find apporpriate pictures that convey her red headed sluttiness, wench photos would be appreciated.
Yes, Rhino has made the official Auroran position on red headed sluttiness very clear.
He also cited by-laws. (he's thorough, and he likes to get inside the legal mind, so to speak)
You could substitute a less toothy picture of Tori Amos, pre-Marilyn Manson.
Until you get your wench, of course. I didnt actually take the pics as I dont have a cell number for Rhino. Yet.
A retired New York pizza maker from New York lives near me, and the guy actually had to build a pizza kitchen in his house, with bricks and stuff. Thats how people get about moving away from pizza.
Im just curious as to what bias was behind the decision to name that particular pizzeria America's best. Ive never even heard of them. I know its unlike me but I smell a conspiracy.
Hey maybe the owner of the pizzeria won her over with some kind of bogus alcoholism story.
Once Oprah found out he made his pizze stone cold sober, it was too late. She could only stand there with Gayle feeling betrayed. Victims make boatloads of cash.
Thats a win-win in my book.
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