Wednesday, November 29, 2006

You Dont Bring Me Flowers

This was written by a member of an extreme left wing blog that the Rhino would debate over a year ago, whom I do not care to plug and posted on a more moderate left wing blog that I frequent on occasion, The Blue Republic. I still tussle with the author and his crew from time to time, but as most kos kids on the left, they are not to be taken seriously. I really dont know what to make of this, but I think its supposed to be insulting. I am happy to announce that I am alive and well and that the Aurora is flattered they took the time to think of us.

ODE TO DONKEYHUE
Based on "Ode to Billy Joe"
By Bobbie Gentry
New Lyrics by SweetPea

It was the 4th of May another crazy, hectic New York day
I was out bribing Congress, Rhino found a way to help them pay
And at dinner time we stopped and caught a cab to the bar to drink
And the bouncer hollered at the front door the GOP never stops to think
And then he said he got some news this morning to make us cringe
Your pal Donkeyhue Republican jumped off the f-in' Brooklyn Bridge

Rhino said to Spooky as we wallowed in our reich wing sleaze
"Well Donkeyhue never made a lick of sense, pass the vodka please
"There's ten more fools on the Potomac I've got to bribe
"Seems like nothin' ever makes any sense on the right wing fringe
And now Donkeyhue Republican jumped off the f-in Brooklyn bridge

And Rhino said he recvollected when he and me and Donkeyhue
Had the world by the ass and the points we made were kindah rude
And weren't we writing speeches for Decider, oh what a sight!
"I'll have another sex on the beach, you know I love the right.
"I saw him at the health club where his nerves were on the ridge
"And now you tell me Donkeyhue Republican jumped off the f-in' Brooklyn Bridge

Sppoky said to me, "Bud what's happened to your lies and fright?
"I've been spinning all morning and you haven't used a single bite.
"That nice young huckster, Brother Ralph Reed barged in today
"Said he'd be glad to preach at the funeral, but if you pay
"And he saw a guy that looked a lot like Rhino that made him cringe
And he and Donkeyhue were copulating on the f-ing Brooklyn Bridge

Two years have come and gone since we heard the news of Donkeyhue
Spooky diddling on the Fossil, I wonder what they really knew
When the bird flu started spreading Rhino caught it and he died last spring
And now Kramer doesn't seem to wanna write much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time getting thoughtful in a left wing binge
And then I spit in the murkey waters of the f-ing Brooklyn bridge.

11 comments:

Rhino-itall said...

Wait, why would someone "cringe" when they saw a guy who looked like me? I think i'm going to have to post some pics of myself.

Anonymous said...

Im more concerned that they had you drinking Sex on the Beach. Is there something you need to tell us?

The funny thing is, bridge jumping was actually one of my favorite pastimes as a youth upstate New York. Its the white trash version of cliff diving.

Rhino-itall said...

Who's Spooky?

Anonymous said...

Spooky is a guy who goes back with me at least a year to the other blogs. He is a military guy, and everyone hates him because he is very conservative (women in the home, that sort of thing)and there were some heated arguments. Anyway, I talked to him and THINK found common ground in a sense because he was in Somalia when my boyfriend was killed. He told me alot about what really happened. I think it was helpful in a weird way but not something others there would understand. Except The Dude maybe or Left Of Center who was also in the military.
Anyway, he is hated by everyone on the lefty blogs, and he was the only person ever to be banned at TBR because some thought he was stalking me and some other issues- but I think he just felt like fighting once in a while with the hippies for kicks. I dont think there was anything else to it.
He came back as Fossil.

Anonymous said...

And I am not sure what this was about, Donkey. I like them but this seemed a bit...time consuming? Why do you get so much attention?

I mean, I get slightly personal in my joking with you because I figure we go back a while now. But just petty things- like saying I'm serving Donkey for Thanksgiving.

Rhino-itall said...

Lily, your boyfriend was killed in Somalia?

Anonymous said...

EB,

A heads up would have been nice. All you had to do was ask I would have personally delivered some donkey meat to your doorstep.

Im awfully sorry to hear about your boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

It was more than ten years ago, but the point I guess is that I dont know alot of people that would die for much of anything. I travelled with a UN security unit for a month, and those guys were great.

We talk alot about hunger and medical care in places like Africa- but people seem to think you just go there and drop it off. No gangs, no warlords, no black market. No violence. That it just all gets distributed in a nice orderly manner. I wonder if people realize that without the military, alot of things would be impossible.

Donkey I think you should feel flattered. Nobody writes weird songs about me. Well- not since the nineties.

Anonymous said...

I dont wear crystals, long flowy skirts (fire hazard) and I am not a vegetarian! (well, I am most of the time.But not all the time)

Quit mocking me! Or I'll show up at a Big Dictator show with the crazy get up I have on now. Cargo shorts and a hoodie. And polka dot socks. (I'm sick)

Rhino-itall said...

Polka dot socks are hot!

Anonymous said...

Ive heard Polka Dots are very big in Sheboygan.

I believe Lily mentioned something about living in Minnesota as a teenager which can only lead me to believe she was the inspiration for Prince's Darling Nikki.