Friday, May 11, 2007

The Abomanation Snowman

I was at my second favorite bar that has free hot dog giveaways last night. Back in the day dun dun dun da it was numero uno as they would let me sleep (read: nap) in the back courtyard (a rarity in nyc) and have a breakfast bucket of Rheingolds awaiting my awakening. And on that note, as a public service announcement to those that may have problems getting out of bed in the morning, I highly recommend the "getting kicked in the kidney by a surly bartender" method.... needless to say its extremely effective, but hitting the snooze button may result in a smack to the jowls.

But alas like most things in the neighborhood -- it has become "hip" as the Starbucks baristas now outnumber the pornography purveyors at a twenty to one clip, fer fooks sake I can make my own coffee but barely legal Mennonite (I digs the bonnets what can I say) lesbian prison flicks ain't easy to come by anymore.

Okay enough of the back story.

The point of this post if there is one, is that as shockingly as it may seem, last evening I was engaged in a discussion with fine folks of the intelligentsia ilk with fancy degrees of the sort unpronounceable to a backwards hilljack such as myself. Now mind you, and this may come as a surprise I do not actively pursue confrontations, as debate amongst strangers rarely accomplishes anything, as truth be told most people are frickin idjits.... well that is unless of course I am looking for tail at a hippie rally.

Anyhue... some knucklehead made the comparison of Iraq to the Civil War in the sense that our voluntarily enlisted men and women in the Armed Forces are Bush's "slaves" that need to be freed, I believe the words were ... "from the bonds of tyranny". Besides the absolute stupidity of that comment in relation to current events I had to take issue with the historical angle.

Let me make something clear.....

The Civil War had absolutely NOTHING to do with slavery. It may have evolved into that, but its not the reason the South seceeded and its not the reason that the North fortified Sumtner provoking an attack. Once again, the Civil War had NOTHING to do with slavery. Period.

Without going into the details that I am confident our readers are aware of and making a short story long I referenced reasons that my adversories were completely unaware of after annus quattour. So on that note, The Aurora in conjunction with NYU and Columbia Universtiy will commence to offer an online correspondence school in continuation of our quest to enlighten the jackasses of the world.

EE-Aw!!!

.....oh yeah, my point. Free hot dogs rule.

5 comments:

Rhino-itall said...

free hot dogs really do rule!

Anonymous said...

here, here on the free dogs.

but to say that the civil war had NOTHING to do with slavery is a bit of an oversimplification--surely, we can agree that slavery was neither the cause of the civil war nor the main issue, but the battle over slavery was symptomatic of the larger issues that could collectively be grouped into the "cause."

on another note, anyone going to the cubs-mets series next week? (y'all are mets fans, right?) i'm going monday and wednesday and will be decked out in my cubs gear.

Anonymous said...

Well I have been known to rely too much on hyperbole in my arguments as I was trying to make a point about general ignorance, historical revisionism as well as oversimplification, but I stand by my position that the Civil War was not started over slavery as is proven by the fact that there were as many slave states in the Union as there were in the Confederacy at the onset as well as that free dogs do in fact rule with a close second being free eggs at Keen's.

Im a game day decision on the cubbies but since its the only time they come to town Ill probably go on $10 tix day.

Miss Carnivorous said...

I like how the liberals are "saving" the soldiers. the liberals want to "save" everybody. It used to be the Christians who saved people. It's all misplaced, frustrated religious zeal.

Anonymous said...

Indeed.