Padi's Day In February

Well its official, I am now finally officially official. After years of illegally diving the coasts of third world countries such as Cuba, Jamaica, and New Jersey... I finally got my PADI certification. I have always been able to finagle my way onto dives with some good ol fashioned blarney (and an extra fin or two) bout how I forgot my card... but not this time.

The dive shop was run by krauts and they weren't having any of it, mostly because they didn't understand every other word I was saying so therefore my roguish charm was lost on them. I tried to explain to them that whats the worst that could happen... that my lungs would burst on ascent to which they replied....

JA JA JER LUNGENS VILL EXPLODIEREN

The good news is that I didn't have to take any classes, just ace a written test (which they kindly allowed me to take at the bar), then perform a dog and pony show for them at thirteen meters -- but most importantly handing over more money than they deserved for the privilege of allowing them the honor of handing me a laminated piece of plastic. Whoopty frickin do. Did Jacques Cousteau care about getting his divers license? Whats that? He did... Ok never mind. Fuck the french -- I always associated with Verne's Captain Nemo anyways, who sure as hell didn't care about any Surface World certifications or bureaucracies.

Speaking of reefs, The one thing that I noticed on my trip was the great language barrier (see: aforementioned krauts -- fuck the germans) Granted I was in another country and a spanish speaking one at that, but it surprised me that in a touristy area more of the help didn't habla any inlges. No problem, I'm in their country Ill play by their rules adopt to their customs to the best of my abilities and I always learn enough of a language to get by when I travel.

Donde las chicas, más cervezas, and aspírelo por favor seemed to do the trick for this trip.

Which brings me to, in a roundabout convoluted kind of way to my point -- English is the national language of The United States Of America. Period. It was never "official" because it didn't have to be... well times have indeed changed Senor Zimmerman. The illegal immigration problem is nearing the point of no return and it sickens me that our elected officials are being such pussies about it. I blame Bush squarely for squandering a golden opportunity to address this issue when he had the chance, but it is now apparent that he never had any intention to do a damn thing about it in the first place.

But he is not alone, take the Nashville Mayor's recent cowardly veto for yet another example. The list goes on and on of betrayals such as these. Unfortunately men like Buchanan, Tancredo, and Hunter are the exception not the rule in Washington. Seems to me everybody is pretty darn happy with an open border albeit for different reasons (dem = votes & gop = cheap labor)

If we are to remain a nation of laws then there must be punishment for the criminals that break them, and right now there is no greater crime being continually committed in this country with zero repercussions for the wrong doer than illegal immigration. There is no deterrent -- you will be fed, housed, schooled and medically cared for -- all in your native tongue if you so choose (and they so choose) if you break the laws of our land and cross our borders illegally. This must end.

Now!

As long as we continue to provide a safe haven for criminals and provide no reason for legals to assimilate then this problem will continue and I fear will reach critical mass in our lifetime. So on that note I am endorsing Speaker Newt Gingrich's 3 Point plan to make English First again.

EE-Aw!!

Action Agenda to Promote the English Language
Newt Gingrich

What can we do to make English the language of government and civic discourse? Three action items top the list:

1. President Bush should end multilingualism in federal documents. The requirement that federal documents be printed in different languages was created by executive order. President Bush should repeal this executive order.

2. Make English the language of U.S. citizenship. Return to English language ballots, to a focus on English language literacy as a prerequisite of citizenship, and to an insistence that U.S. dual citizens vote only in the United States and give up voting in their birth nations. These were principles widely understood and accepted for most of American history, and they enabled us to absorb millions of immigrants and assimilate them and their children into an American civilization.

3. Replace bilingual education with intensive English instruction. We should have a National Program for Intensive English Instruction that would provide highly intensive English and U.S. history and civics training for new immigrants so that they can have the practical skills to become successful U.S. citizens.

It's the Right Thing to Do. -- Newt

And it's a start -- Donk.

"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907