I very rarely use pleasantries such as "how are you doing" (the exception was when the Rhino and I would antagonize an ex-colleague known as Pipebomb, who would respond to simple salutations with such venom to make it hilarious. What the F makes it a good morning he would say) Now contrary to recent Zogby polls the reason for this is not that I am a miserable sumnabitch, and despite my incessant blog ranting I am a man of few words. Nothing irks me more than stupid and insincere questions or even worse unnecessary answers.
If I were to ask you how you are doing, your response should be somewhere along the lines of...fine... or something similarly monosyllabic. I dont care if your dog got hit by a car, that you won the lottery or that your chick dumped you. Fine is enough. I have even mastered the art of muttering said greetings when forced to be used in a tone that removes the question mark entirely and conveys to the individual that no repsonse is required. Regarding stupid questions, take for example this email I received this morning...
"Im not sure if you would be interested, but my wife is doing promotion for the St Francis' Big Red event tonight. If you are interested I can get you on the list and free entrance. Let me know."
So after yahoo-ing wtf this thing was and reading the sites description...
"A spectacular culinary feast featuring red meat dishes prepared by New York City's top chefs and paired with the bold flavored, full bodied reds of St. Francis Winery & Vineyards."
In other words...all the email should have said and asked was if I wanted free steak and booze.
As Al Jaffee would have responded...
No. Ill just have the salad
No. Id prefer to pay for the tickets
No. But Ill take the steak knife anyways to stab you in the juglar for asking such a ridonkulous question.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say
EE-Aw!!!
5 comments:
good old pipe bomb. the guy literally looked like a cross between the grandfather on the musnsters and the penguin(danny devito) from batman.
I wonder what ever happened to that guy?
By the way...anyone in the hood is more than welcome to attend. Just tell them Mr Donkeyhue sent ya.
I always had the Pipebomb pegged as a cross between Death and the Grim Reaper, only shorter, balder, and more jewish. A more miserable individual I have yet to meet.
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Hey Donk did you ever see Al Lewis near Cordelia?
Wait, you probably dont harangue round those parts.
By the way, HOW ARE YOU?? ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY?
I saw that Batman in Germany and cant get Danny DeVito yelling in German out of my head when that movie is on. He was repulsive looking.
By the way, regarding your cryptic communique- I HEAR you. But Foilies are Fickle.
Lily,
Fine
Sounds good Donksy, if Im in town...will do.
Fly the only Flair at The Aurora is Ric.
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