Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Mr Nickels

You ever hear that expression..."If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that"...there are various incarnations and denominations but you catch my drift (sorry bout that, I had chimichungas for lunch) Heck if I had a nickel for everytime Ive heard that phrase, Id be knee deep in about three hundy by now...Legs Diamondz for lunch anyone?

Most people naturally assume that the vast fortune of William Gates was amassed through the sales and distribution of Windows, well Im here set the record straight. While yes it is indeed true that a good chunk of Bill's dollars were earned from his equity stake in Mr Softy stock (roughly 30%of his net worth), it has been learned by the financial wing of The Aurora that that is only half the story, ok thirty percent of the story.

It seems that young Billy was a huge Dustin Hoffman fan, but due to an ear infection he misheard that famous line from The Graduate. For five years he was under the impression that "patents" was the one word he should know about. I guess he wasnt listening. So here he is with what he believes is the key to the future, yet not knowing how to use it. The next half decade is not spent chasing girls or playing sports, its trying to devise a formula or invention to "patent". But alas it was all for naught.

Fast forward to his first year at Harvard, and hes all but put away those young boy ways. But then something creepy happens...the burgarly of the Watergate hotel, and the ensuing scandal known forever more as Watergate-gate.

Now Billy was no dummy, and taking Mr. McGuire's advice...all he had to do now was look at his not yet suspended drivers license, bank on the fact that the media would show a complete lack of originality for the next thirty years and rush on down to the USPTO and patent both the singular as well as plural or his surname.

Now grab a pencil and/or calculator...

35 billion dollars divided by a nickel

You do the math.

10 comments:

Rhino-itall said...

sometimes people try to be too clever.... you know what i mean?

Anonymous said...

sometimes people try to be too clever.... you know what i mean?

Rhino-itall said...

no, i don't

Anonymous said...

no, i don't

Rhino

Rhino-itall said...

touche'?

anita said...

what's that old saying: he/she's too clever by half ... ??

not entirely sure what it means ... by half of what?

Mr Accountable said...

By Robert Half, right?

anita said...

or .. half measures always fail.

or so i'm told.

Anonymous said...

apologize Rhino. I should have been more clear. What I was trying to insinuate in a round-about mental patient kind of way is that I feel that the media unnecessarily and unoriginally attaches the -gate suffix to the scandal du jour, while at the same time making a mockery of Bill Gates' deceptive cloning of the Macintosh operating sytem and marketing it as his own.

Going forward I will try and keep my dennismilleresque arcane references to a minimum, and keep my posts as rudimentary as possible.

Say hello to your friends on the short bus for me.

Mr Accountable said...

A peninsula...is half...of an island...

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