Canandaigua Bacon

Someone asked me this evening why I hate Canadians and whether I was serious about it. Well its hard to explain. Ive wrote a few posts about it, and unequivocally can say yes and yes please. Its probably one of the reasons that I love South Park as much as I do, they took a very unpopular position against Canada early in their run. I mean for a comedy show to be anti-Canuck is ballsy. Thank God for Will Farrell, for if he didnt exist, the wrath of Jim Carrey would have sent Comedy Central back to the Man Show Ages..

It all starts in a small town of Central New York, the Finger Lakes region to be exact. I call it Upstate, for living in "The City" now New Yorkers can barely grasp the five boroughs and the transplants think you need a passport to go to New Jersey, and to others a six hour drive within New York boundaries means being stuck on the LIE for a ten hour jitney just to be able to throw their sleeping bag in the corner of a Hamptons share, well not exactly the Hamptons, closer to Sag Harbor, but close enough.

Im from America. Not the New York Times America or even the Fox News America. I knew everyones name and they knew mine. If my football team played well, we were congratulated. Well that part is a stretch considering we won three games in four years, so it was kind of a big event, but even in lacrosse, in which we excelled...kudos were given. There was a connection. It was a community. Hell even when I was brought before the judge he'd comment on my recent game before he issued the standard community service sentence of working on the Eire Canal Re-Beautification Project (thats right I paved those parking lots you pull your leafer Volvos into)

That sense of community has served me well in my life. I may be known as a curmudgeonly old Donkey and maybe its true that Ive been thrown out of a few pubs or even a country or two but if you have to know the the truth maybe I deserved it. I dont like people all that much, and I have a difficult time dealing with stupidity, especially my own.

but..

Most people that know me (warning: online boast) like me, they really really do. Hard to believe but its true, and if you got to know the truth I like most some of them back. I speak yiddish with my hatter, know how the wop's kid that I buy coffee from is doing in school, torment my Tai tailor that that tells me my suits can only be taken out so far, I read books that my ________ (?) doorman recos, take stock tips from my spick shoe shine and share the same tips to my cossack cobbler, and with the blacks I talk basketball. (ok I admit that last one was a blatant ploy to rile up Warlike) He's probably in Arkansas anyways (soon to be renamed Wal-Mart) They know my name and I know theirs. We get along, differences aside, get along well. Community. Liberals dont get it. They just dont, and thats a shame. Shame shim shimmmy sam sammi shim sham sand dance.*


Whats that got to do with anything?
My point?

I dont like Canadians