Q: How many Philosophy Majors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What do you mean by change?
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. (``That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...'')
Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
Q: How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many University of Chicago economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they let market forces take care of it.
Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fourteen. You got a problem with that?
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
A': 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
A': None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It depends which light bulb joke you're reading.
Got any more? Feel free to add them in the Comments Section !!
8 comments:
Whatta damn weekend! Hope you guys had a good one. I'm not going to get caught up on the conflict because hopefully it doesn't involve me and as I have repeatedly stated I have emotional ADD and can't really keep track of pissedivity very well.
I vaguely recall some shit about Donkey saying I badmouthed him. For saying that you pay me to be my friend- I am sorry. Again. You guys had some comments about hookers between you and Kelso so I thought it would be funny to put in my not-so-hilarious two cents. Emphasis on not so hilarious, but dammit I have a leg injury.
Which led to much sympathy and mannerliness these past few days.
And had great seats at a baseball game Saturday and was treated VERY well, much love to those guys at PNC park!!! Not so much love for fans throwing bobbleheads. They don't allow glass bottle Yuengling beer but they give these clowns rock-like toys???
Wait so i'm NOT paying you? But all the checks have been cashed?
I"m thinkin' ... you might have to actually BE a Swede to understand it, Ole.
OK, so I just heard through the grapevine that The Donkey is upping the stakes here:
The commenter who comes up with The Best Lightbulb (or similar) joke gets free tickets to the Zappa concert.
Wow.
... just teasing ...
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
...THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!
The good Lord knows I love Anita like the proper sister I never had, but I gotta quote Jim Carroll here: "I got a sister and her name's Anita/Anita got one peculiar feature/Every time that you come to meet her/She turn out like a jungle cheetah"
All I got is a clotted suburban comment-stopper: If bulb is bubble or froth in Chinese, then to make the Sinojoke one must envision:
A light bulb full of beer with a gum-wrapper/cigarette silver paper filament.
Not happening.
Hey, LED Zeppelin! Wait for me!
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