Friday, March 17, 2006

Don't Tread On Me Paddy

(in bad Bush I voice) Naga do it. Wouldn't be prudent...

St Patrick was a bigot. How else can you explain his persecution and expulsion of snakes from Ireland. Now only the Irish readers stand up.


PaTricK Put U In O'Bondage
Legged Nationalism is what put you in bondage
Saints and priests like Seamus, Brendan, and Bridget
Drank the blood of the snakes,
jigged all over them with Guinness, clovers, and irish rovers

In Christian lore, snakes are characterized as being devilish temptors and evil incarnate. However in the Hindu faith snakes are second only to the cow in their sacredness. So in essence wouldn't Patrick's anti-serpentic attitude towards our legless friends in the grass constitute a deep rooted anti-Hinduism. Now is that the kind of saint you want representing you, I sure as hell don't, I tolerate no fools especially anti-gungadinnites.

Now all you Donovan and Riki Tiki Tavi fans out there may take great glee in 'the mans' continued oppression of the Ophidian-Irish-American race, but not I. I look back at my youth now with shame for the summer I hustled video games at the arcade so I could finally afford a BMX bike, a Mongoose to be exact...a snake killer.

My days of drinking green beer in revelry and reverence to St Patrick the Snake Hater are no more. I will be dusting of my trusty old punji, moving to India and commence my new career as a charmer to be rectifying me past transgressions.

...but there is hope, my own personal patron Saint of drunken barroom brawling and debauchery Shane MacGowan has brought
The Snake back to Ireland and hopefully has stopped the vicious cycle of Squamatism


Happy St Patricks Day

19 comments:

Unknown said...

Does it have to be a beer? I am allergic to beer..

Rhino-itall said...

Dusty i'm sure the Donkey will buy you whatever drink you want, but get there early, because if i know the donkey (and i do) it's going to get ugly.

Rhino-itall said...

getlive weren't you wearing a skirt that time at dunkin donuts when i bitch slapped that guy and then you threw him into the soda machine? wear your panties this time!

thejerseydevil said...

hey, donkey do you know how to take a apartment door right off the hinges? I hear that the craic-head may need some help with that!

Anonymous said...

Whatever you want Dusty, I would recommend something strong though, as Rhino is correct Im not very handsome but I sure am ugly.

thejerseydevil said...

happy st paddy's day too ya

Anonymous said...

Devil,
apparently Im the only one thats familiar with that kind of doire work

Dusty,
..and bring Lily...theres been too much animosity lately, I would like to make a peace offering.

Getlive,
Your comment was way too brokeback mountain for my liking...tone it down fruitcake

Rhino,
Was that the time you and your "girlfriends" got gaybashed in the village or another time?

Rhino-itall said...

i wasn't there for the gay bashing, however getlive got bashed as did our friend from the DR trip who is NYPD!

Anonymous said...

I work in the hood. Any identifying characterists I should look for ... ?

Anonymous said...

i.e., how does one spot an Auroran ?

Anonymous said...

Ill be the handsome drunk irish guy with the green tie. Rhino, Fly and Warlike will be the commies.

Rhino-itall said...

actually i won't be there, but i wish you all a happy mic day.

Anonymous said...

OH Anita, don't. I beg of you. For the love of Lilith, please don't drink with these guys and let them take you to the dark side..

Peace offering? Nah. We're cool. I state my bitch and don't hold grudges. I'm like a man that way. Punch you then have a beer.

Anyway- I just wanted to come by and well wish. In all seriousness. I realize there are lots of arguments left unfinished around here particularly on racism and child exploitation, but ALSO in all seriousness I am getting caught up with some work with a deadline and my hesitation to slack off has nothing to do with being a sobbing sensitive emotional liberal. I am just very busy.

Please don't bitch slap Anita. And watch it, they will take pictures and make you mascot next week.

PS Whats with all the Harp specials instead of Guiness? What are they trying to do?

Don't ask Anita to help charm any snakes this weekend.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Lily ... I can take of myself. Plus, I don't drink. So no going to the dark side for me. Or snake charming. I'll leave that up to you !!

Anonymous said...

I just want to hear Riki Tiki Tavi ...

Anonymous said...

Have a good time then. But wear an Ani DiFranco shirt for the girls.

Gee, a man with a green tie in NYC today.. hard to miss.

Anita, the brave.

Anonymous said...

...but like I said Ill be the handsome one. Ive been told I resemble Denzel Washington.

Anonymous said...

Oh, so a BOW tie then.

As long as its for Malcolm versus Tucker.

Anonymous said...

Your comment about being shorter and whiter dissappeared! NSA? Smite?

KIDDING. Have fun Donkeyhue. Enjoy your lunch.