Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Can You Tell Me How To Get...

One of my prior posts addressed the possible correlation between Christine Todd Whitman and the species Erketu ellisoni. Upon further review of my data, I came to a startling conclusion.

Christine Todd Whitman, to be referred to as CTW going forward was always an enigma to me, couldnt quite figure out what her deal was. The Childrens Televison Worksop producer of the beloved Sesame Street is also referred to as CTW. And everyone knows that SS is home to Big Bird (notice resemblance in prior post) Seeing that my first official on the books job when I was 15 years old was wearing a Cookie Monster costume at the local mall (made fifteen bucks for three hours work...sweet!!!) this makes me some sort of expert on the matter, so my calculations are undebateable.


So if CTW produces BB
And BB lives on SS
Then CTW must = SS

Christine Todd Whitman is SS?

That cant be. CTW is considered a moderate to most and has been at odds with the current admin on numerous occasions, but this formula indicates that CTW was just another foot soldier in the armed wing of the Republican party, or as liberals so describe them as nazis.

Now what always bothered me was the love/hate relationship that CTW and GWB have had. CTW was co-chair with GWB of the RNC in 1996 and was mentioned as a possible running mate to GWB in 2000. Politics makes peculiar bedfellows indeed...or does it? GWB ran as a compassionate conservative which didnt strike me at the time for what it was, but its clear now that he meant social issues conservative, social programs liberal (Hey big spender put the frickin checkbook down already) CTW is a fiscal conservative and social liberal. But I think theres more to the story.

After the election of GWB, CTW was soon named as head of the EPA. On the surface it looks like your typical political squid pro row, but then I remembered how in Indiana Jones the nazis were trying to to find and use the Lost Arc for diabolical purposes. Couldnt perhaps CTW have been a plant at the the EPA to create a dust storm about Global Warming but who's true purpose was to oversee the search for the fossilized remains of aforementioned Erketu ellisoni, whose discovery would surely embarrass CTW personally as the Big Bird missing link and humiliate GWB by proving the Theory of Evolution and shattering his personal belief system of Creationism as a Bjorn Borg again. Makes you think doesnt it?

Or maybe the Donkey has been grazing too much grass again



this post was sponsored by the letters T H and C

23 comments:

Rhino-itall said...

Donkey drop the chalupa man, you got some serious issues!

Anonymous said...

Your syllogism is highly flawed.
Your minor premise does not flow from your major premise therefore your conclusion is flawed.

I agree with rhino-itall. Drop the chalupa man.

Anonymous said...

I guess you missed the part where I said it was undebateable.

Anonymous said...

...and the only reason that Rhino wants me to drop the chalupa is because hes Mexican and wants to eat it.

Anonymous said...

Oh. I missed that. Well, then "Never Mind."

Rhino is Mexican?

Rhino-itall said...

Don't listen to him anita, to the donkey, anyone with a spanish surname is a mexican.

Anonymous said...

IF CTW is BB, then her initials would be CTB. Also the initials of Consider The Boot. And since Lily has been accused of working for the EPA numerous times, this all makes sense. The accuser's name begins with E, also the first letter of Elmo.
Elmo is based on the personal use of THC. THC sponsored Donkey's post. THC is for hippies. Therefore...

Lily is Elmo.
AND it is a tautology.

Anonymous said...

Whats wrong with being Mexican? I'm Mexican. And biracial. And the red hair? Thats just a freak thing.

Rhino-itall said...

Don't tease me because you know i love redheads.
There's nothing wrong with being mexican, i have a mexican gardener, i believe he said he clubs seals in the off season.

Warlike said...

Hey Donk hook me up with some of that purple haze.
And Rhino stop dissing your brother like that-so he's mowing the lawn-at least he's doing SOMETHING!!!!

Anonymous said...

Warlike might lose his title of Hottest Auroran if you keep talking about shaved heads and whats becoming a very complicated racial profile.

Did you ever see that parody on Mind of Mencia where he mocks Desperate Housewives sleeping with the gardeners? That show is hilarious.

Rhino, do you sleep with your Mexican gardeners? Or just watch them use their hoses- from a window?

Rhino-itall said...

In the interest of fairness, Warlike also shaves his head.

I've never seen mind of mencia, in fact i'm not sure i've ever heard of it, and i've never watched desperate houswives, although i think tony parkers girl is bangin!

who said i sleep with my gardeners? did warlike tell you that? he's a damn liar! he's just trying to get the hottest title, i swear it's not true!

i gotta go now.

Rhino-itall said...

Oh, and i'm a white guy from long island,.......isn't that right warlike?

Mookie McFly said...

If you're hot Rhino & Warlike, please take off your sweaters...as for the sexiest kid on the block, the only Jersey boy in the house, and therefore the only one who had to suffer CTW...I just want to tell you this...it's a sad fact (for you) but the white boy's back!

Rhino-itall said...

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Anonymous said...

are you saying Donkeyhue isn't hot? he seems kinda mean. but is he hot?

Rhino-itall said...

anita you are right about the mean thing. And he's not too smart either.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you meet them in their splendor, Anita?

Never saw Desperate Housewives but Mencia is a must see.

Warlike shaves his head? He has just moved back into position one.

What does Gadfly laugh about? We would hang out at his place except he never posts anything new. :)

Anonymous said...

No, Lily, I unfortunately never got there. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until after 3PM! At which point it was too late.

:(

Unknown said...

Wait a minute..you smoke pot Donkey?

What exactly is the THC content in that ganja you smoke?

Anonymous said...

No doubt after seeing your pic for MOTW they will reschedule...:)

Anonymous said...

Well, to be honest, I prefer to be loved for my sharp mind, my good soul, and my rousing sense of humor. Not just for my hot, hot bod.

Rhino-itall said...

yeah, i'm all in favor of a rousing sense of humor, especially when it comes from a hot hot bod!