I was trying to avoid this issue, for no other reason than I didnt want to give the Pink Mafia any more publicity, but my hand has been forced. See, I recently suffered an injury, although in peak physical condition the strain of lifting my five year old nephews three pound remote control F-150 was too much for my lower back. I know I know, youre supposed to bend your knees (this will come into play later) So if Ive seemed out of it the last couple weeks its because Ive been hopped up on vikings and skeletons (Vicodin and Skelaxin for all you non junkies out in Auroraland), and if Ive defeated you in verbal combat, take note that I beat you as Rush would say with "half my brain tied behind my back"Now, I work in a very testosterone heavy office enviroment and any weakness is pounced upon like a three legged gazelle in the veldt. Walking in all crooked was all the oppurtunity my colleagues needed to exact their revenge for my years of tormenting them with my lyrical swords. The following scenario played out almost everday, until I broke down and I stabbed someone in the jooglar with a Sharpie.
Jackass: Hey Donkey, what happened?
Donkey: I threw my back out on the half pipe at Killington throwing down 180's
Jackass: So you broke your back?
Donkey: Um no
Jackass: I wish I could quit you Donkey
I havent seen nor do I intend to see this movie. Im more of TnA & TnT movie type of guy. I hate people enough in real life, to actually pay ten bucks to hate fictional folks makes no sense to me. But it did get me thinking about fruity farm hands. Yeah thats right...I said it. Obviously, Hollywood (see: Pink Mafia) has an agenda to push or why else would a movie that was outgrossed by a frickin penguin flick get so much publicity and it'll probaly win a bunch of awards. Gay is the new black I guess. The point of this post is... whats the big deal now? This isnt the first gay cowboy movie (causing the Duke to roll in his grave). So without further rambling, my list of the biggest backdoor banditos in cinema history.
- Robert Redford "The Electric Horseman"
- Billy Crystal "City Slickers"
- Don Johnson "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man"
- Robert Redford "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
- Kevin Costner "Wyatt Earp"
- John Travolta "Urban Cowboy"
- Kurt Russell "Tombstone"
- Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, Dermot Mulroney, "Young Guns"
- Tim Conway and Don Knotts "Apple Dumpling Gang"
- Robert Redford "The Horse Whisperer"
If I left anyone out, feel free to add them in the comments section, but so help me Josey Wales if any you jackasses even blaspheme Clint...I'll kill you. Speaking of Clint, let me straighten this post out a little by mentioning one of the greatest characters in a Western....Sister Sara...a nun impostering, whiskey drinking, cursing, France hating hooker. Hey Sara I got a mule for ya right here.
EE-Aw!!
10 comments:
hold on a second donkey.if i'm reading you correct here you're saying that all these characters are gay? are you saying tim conway is a man lover? what is wrong with you.
crack head!
I think donkey protests too much about homosexuality. He needs a good redhead to set him straight.
You take those pills just for pulling your back out? No wonder you were giving off the kitty vibe.
I am saving my ten bucks for gay penguins. I'm not suckered easily out of my swig from the capitalism juice machine.
Tim Conway is most definitely a man lover. And a crack head.
Off to cry in front of Wal Mart.Wanna join me rhino? I know how you love the lure of cheap plastic stemware and strawberry-themed pot holders.
And by the way donkey, I have alot of respect for teamsters, I went to classes with them in Nassau county, labor law and negotiation. And a few in midtown.I was the only female with twenty five of them, and they were some of the sharpest guys I ever spent class time with. They never let that professor rest, not for a second. These guys were still arguing on the way to the parking lot. I learned so much just by hearing them- now they know how to get things done.
Actually Conway was the only one I felt bad slandering. That Dorf guy is hilarious.
Did you say I gave your kitty vibes?
giggity giggity oh yeah!!!
Seriously feel better, though. Where were my manners?
Corporation Appreciation Week, fellas. Starts monday.
No worries mate. I take the pills cuz Im a junkie, I drink whiskey for the pain.
Respect for the Teamsters? Hmm. Maybe Ill tackle that one for Cogswell Cogs Corrupto Week. I dont know how to put this but I was kind of a big deal.
Now go to bed. Try valerian.
Hmmm Did I meet you? Kidding. I hope.
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