I recently received a phone call that Ive patiently been waiting for the past fifteen years. Well, I have an expression (probably stolen) that a day can be an eternity and a minute too late. A lot can change in them there fifteen years.
The gentleman caller was the New York Giants, and they were offering season tickets. For those unfamiliar, the rumor was that the wait list was twenty to thirty years long. I say rumor, because I had never personally witnessed this natural phenomenon. No one I knew my age had them, it was always someones Uncle or Father's tickets. I have become my uncle's and father's age.
They called, I buy. My grand kids will sing songs about me. End of story.
Things change.
A few years ago, I don't even blink. I buy the tickets. And now, doesn't look like I will. Three words. P. S. L. In lame man's terms. the Private Seat License. Those three words have obviously pissed off about five years of people off the list and priced the other five years away. Can I afford it? Yes. Can I afford it? No. Forty thousand dollars is a lot of fucking money. Oh yeah, that forty large only gets me the right to buy the tickets. Spending $40,000.00 for the right to spend $15,000.00 a year. Break out the calculator Rhino, gonna need some help on that math.
Actually got this one covered. Not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent. Do I think I have the right to those tickets? Damn right I do. Watching Dave Brown on a cathode ray tubed small screen smoky Irish pub television, has earned me that right. I deserve it. It is my right to have the privilege of this luxury. This is America. Put that in the motherfuckin' Constitution, cuz ya know damn well Benny F. would be with me on this one. Only one problem...
It costs too much.
Anyone want to loan me $40,000.00? Here's my offer. In return, I will ration you tickets for one game a year (starting in or around the 2013 season), which may or may not include pre-season. I also reserve the right on any games you do not intend to attend the authority to send representatives into your home and change the channel to the Jets or any AFC game of my choosing (this may or may not include the Dallas Cowboys). Furthermore, any and all beer service or hot dog products that I participate in will be automatically reduced my indebtedness on the aforementioned monies at my discretion. Even furthermore, in the event you have children they will by proxy assume any and all debt obligations I may have amassed in our prior and alleged business dealings. And one last thing. Under no circumstances will any or none tickets to the one game a season, starting in or around 2013 and then ever more you may or may not receive... be used on old people.
1 comment:
Wow, I can't believe you have been on the list for that long! If I were you, I would do it. Think of it as an investment.
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