Im always amazed when I see these "lists" rating the top sports movies. In most cases the highest ranked have almost nothing do with sports and in others they seem to be more about being politically correct and in others still, they just flat out sucked.
Take for example, Bull Durham a perennial favorite. That movie had more to do with cross-dressing cuckoldry and Eastern Meditation than it did baseball and yet dollars to donuts its usually in the top three of every list.
Or look at another regualr top ten'er... A League Of Their Own, which although responsible for the classic line "there's no crying in baseball" -- um yeah so I heard -- was a movie, Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 notwithstanding, of such craptastic proportions that even the career of two-time academy award winner Tom Hank hasnt recovered. If I wanted to watch chicks play softball Id fire up the ol' laserdisc of the 1980 soft-core comic classic Squeeze Play.
Its the same thing with Beer Lists. They always have some Fancy Mountain Creek Ale or Stubborn Purple Mule Stout or some other local micro crap yet you go to a ball game, bachelor party or card game and you will see men drinking Buds, Miller, and Pabst (Sam Adams is the only acceptable micro brew) because these lists aren't written by men, well straight men that is.
The Aurora has accepted the task of putting together the definitive sports movie list of all time. We will start with sub categories with the goal of naming an overall World Champion Sports Movie Of All Time.
To get the ball rolling Ill throw out a couple....
Cycling: American Flyers (despite starring Kevin Costner the sports movie kiss of death, this movie gets the nod on the strength of Rae Dawn Chong's breasts)
Skiing: Better Off Dead (John Cussack's finest hour)
Boxing: The Prizefighter (Don Knotts... 'nuff said)
Bowling: Kingpin (perhaps Bill Murray's greatest performance)
Wrestling: VisionQuest (gave us the classic line to use after kicking someone's ass.... "problem is, you cant hold your mud")
Golf: Happy Gilmore (I know its blasphemy, but more laughs per minute than Caddyshack hate to say)
Football: All The Right Moves (a football movie about football and Leah Thompson's nipple)
Baseball: The Bad News Bears (Kelly Leek rules!)
Some of these might make the final cut and some of them wont, so let the games begin, because like the Highlander.... there can be only one.
21 comments:
You left out basketball.
Maybe because there's no contest. It's "The fish that saved pittsburgh"...... Just kidding, it's "Hoosiers" of course.
Also, while i liked Happy Gilmore a lot i think we have to go with Caddy Shack, but i'm not arguing too hard.
Here are the Hockey movie finalists:
Youngblood
Slap Shot
Miracle
Ditto on the Vision Quest, even though wrestlers turn out gay with all that man sweat and jumpsuit action early in life.
Cycling movie? What?
Roger that on Better off Dead and Kingpin.
Golf HAS to be Cadyshack.
I was going to disagree with you on the basketball movie and nominate the Robbie Benson tour de froce One on One but then I googled it and found out the tagline was "There comes a time when love stops being a ball and starts being a woman". Hoosiers wins.
Im gonna have to go with Youngblood since it gave us one of the greatest villian lines of all time.... "wanna go pretty boy?" -- Racki
Shame on me for failing to mention Personal Best for the track and field category. If you saw it you know what Im talkin' about.
Really? I haven't seen Personal Best, but I did see Prefontaine and that was a good one.
Youngblood was good, but i'm voting for Miracle. It's got all the intangibles. Good acting, Great Hockey Scenes, the patriotic angle, the overcoming adversity angle, and best of all it was all true.
I read about the scene where Brooks makes them skate wind sprints until they puked after an exhibition game in like east germany or somewhere and eruzione said it was exactly like that. He wouldn't let them stop, even after the lights were turned off until eruzione called out "mike eruzione, Boston Mass. I play for the United States!" or something like that. Give's me chills just thinking about it.
Yeah, Miracle. I'll fight you on this one.
cycling movie? Breaking Away
You want a fight? You got a fight.
But not with Youngblood, nope not walking into that trap. Im bringing my A game for this one, and by A game I mean Anaheim. Yeah thats right... The Mighty Ducks, now what!
Ahhhh, the Mighty Ducks! Actually, I never saw it. I have to go with Miracle. "The legs feed the wolf.."
Ok...
Miracle it is for Hockey.
Hoosiers for Hoops.
VisionQuest for Wrastling.
...and unless some knucklehead wants to make a case for the Big Lebowski.
Kingpin for Bowling
Im changing my baseball nod to Major League 1 and 2. Its a package deal take it or leave it.
Yea, the Major League duo has my vote.
So you guys aren't going with "Fever Pitch"?
Anyway, the boxing pick has to be "Rocky".
"what about my prime mick? what about my prime?!!!!!"
When I was on upper east side, Burt Young lived on my street. One time I yelled "hey paulie" and he said "hey". It was pretty cool.
Ok this was a bad topic. I was banking on that fact you guys are half homos to stir up some debate but I can not and will not in clear conscience argue against Rocky. In fact we might as well just hand over the belt now.
ummm...
I'm almost afraid to say it but....
the greatest football related movie ever was probably "Brian's Song"
Don't lie donkey...You Cried!
I know Im going to get trashed for this so I should just admit to sobbing like a longisland tough guy at a Billy Joel farewell concert but I never saw it.
I look it at it like ET, missed it the first time around no point going back now just cuz everyone says its classic.
When I was 12 I saw a man fall from a ferris wheel and his head crack open like an egg no more than 10 feet from me and didnt flinch, what makes you think Id cry about a movie about some dude dying of cancer. Yeah thats right Im badass and like a real man only cry after drinking whiskey and playing Oh Danny Boy on the jukebox.
Im going to give the nod to The Jericho Mile for track and field too. Great movie. However I cant stress the awesomeness of Personal Best enough. That movie was the internet porn of my generation. I didnt even know what lesbians were in 1982 but I knew I liked it.
That's a nice story. Is there such a thing as "best sports record album"?, because we had a copy of Celtics Pride upstairs at our house. The record is produced by A & P.
I dont see how anything can compete with the WWF's The Wrestling Album. Standout singles being by Roddy Piper and the Junkyard Dog.
Are we talking soundtracks or actual athletes singing?
If it's athletes singing then it would have to be the superbowl shuffle.
If it's soundtracks then i'm thinking Rocky again, and then of course there's vision quest with the still hot, trashy,whore like, non kaballah(sp)? version of Madonna.
Good call on the VQ...
How bout' the scene with Louden jumping rope right before his match with Kuch as Lunatic Fringe plays in the background. Quietly at first, then rising in volume in direct correlation to the increase in the pace of his jump roping. Just getting louder and faster and louder and faster until his name is announced over the p.a. and then just stops and kicks in the door of the gym. Thats some badass shit right there.
.. but yeah the Madonnna song was pretty cool too, you fruitcake.
Kuch was his buddy. You know the guy who "ain't even a real indian"
The opponent was Shute.
Nobody want's to wrestle Shute!
His own father has to use a livewire to keep him from fucking the fireplace!
Aw shit thats right Kuch was the wannabe injun my bad. Man and I had such high hopes that hed be the first native american President too.
At Accountable family gatherings the women normally start to get very 'high on life'. My brothers know the A&P "Price and Pride" song by heart. It's kind of a long song, with two singing parts, I don't really know the words.
...with price and pride, together again!
Hello Price!
Hello Pride!
We're the team to beat, at A&P!
Then of course people start shouting about how "Havlicek has stolen the ball" and by then the crisis is more or less over.
The performance feeds the need, directing the social flow away from "canapes I bought in Switzerland"; "homemade peppermint fudge" and "Let's get the old John Denver and Barry Manilow records and have a singalong", back to Sam Adams, R.E.M., Bob Marley and barbecue.
Have a good one.
I've seen some Tae Kwan Do movies from S Korea.
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