As our nation readies itself in celebration for The United States of America's birthday party by dusting off the ol' styrofoam cooler, hanging up the seasonal bunting, and stocking up on Lite beer and a variety of meats I am beginning to fear that we are losing focus on the ideals behind the true intent of the Glorious Cause and our Founding Fathers struggle for liberty.
Now don't get the wrong idea, I'm all about the throwaway coolers, cold beer, bloody meat on a fire with bonus points awarded if they're served on Stars and Stripes paper plates. Wearing a flag pin does make you patriotic. It doesn't mean that the pinless are godless commies although there is a good chance that they are, it just means that the person rocking the Old Glory is proud enough of their Country to want to make a public display of it and thats a-ok with me. Its like when I look around the city nowadays with The Mets struggling around 500 and see someone rockin' the Reyes. I know that they're down with the cause through thick and thin.
But..
That's not my problem and I got a pretty big fuckin' problem.
The original men in black (and hats) sailed the ocean blue to avoid persecution and find a new home where they were able to exercise their personal freedoms without molestation. Fast forward to the American Revolution, where many a colonist gave their lives in the fight for independence and the right for self-rule and determination.
Yet...
I find that The Fourth of July is perhaps one of the most intolerant times of the year and it vexes me, Im terribly vexed. I can stand silent no more as my people are mocked ridiculed and persecuted at the time of year more than any other that we need to stand together as One Nation under God.... as Americans.
Ok get to the fookin' point Donkey, what's yer gripe.
Well let me tell ya, by quoting from the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council....
"Don't...Use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18. Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable."
Get the fuck outta here!
Did I wake up in Tehran? Has Sharia Law been imposed? Should I turnoff my music radio while I'm at it?
No way dude, turn it up....it's Freedom Rock!
This is American damnit, and if I want to put ketchup on my hot dog (which I do) then it is my god given right to do so. I don't wanna get all big shot on ya but let me quote a lil something called the Declaration of Independence...
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
So if I want to put tomato based condiments on my hot dog (it makes me happy), then let me do so in peace and keep your opinions and fancy french grey poupon mustard ways to yourself, because when you mock ketchup you mock the U.S.A and that don't fly with this red blooded ketchup lovin' American.
... and don't even get me started on the krauts
EE-Aw!!!
Happy Birthday America and everyone out in Auroraland have a safe 4th of July.
9 comments:
Putting ketchup on your dog is indeed your God given right, however for you to tell people who say it's repulsive to keep it to themselves is down right UN- American.
It is a vile act, and although i would like to tie you to a pole and hold you under water to see if you're a witch just for talking about it, i will grant you your rights to destroy the dog.
You in turn should realize, just like people who put all kinds of metal rods in their face and die their hair blue, people will make comments.
Deal with it.
You are more than entitled to your opinion but when it infringes upon mine is when it becomes UN-American and moreso when a National Council weighs in telling me what I can and can not put on my hot dogs, well I shouldnt have to tell you that that flies smack in the face of the Establishment and Free Excercise Clause of the First Amendment of the Untited States Constitution.
Commie!!!
It's not a law! It's just the right thing to do. They're advising you.
Like telling you not to pick your nose in public after the age of 4. You don't follow that advice either but you haven't been arrested. You want to repulse people with your tomato based theresa heinz kerry condiment on your hotdog? Go ahead dirtbag! But don't expect me to not say anything when you're eating your boogers at my bbq!
Great rebuttal jackass.
I come at you with the First Amendment you come back at me with booger picking. Then again I cant say I expected anything less considering that I just had to give you a quick lesson on the differences between the First and Second Amendments about 5 minutes ago, and you call yourself a Strict Constructionist. Phooey!
Quick Trivia...
Q: Whats the number one selling mustard?
A: French's Yellow (bit redundant dontcha think)
Lemme guess, you serve croissants and crepes at your bbq too... you cheese eating surrender monkey.
I don't eat yellow mustard.
My favorite, (and i'm eating it on a turkey sandwich right now by the way) is Jack Daniels.
However i also eat Guldens spicy brown from time to time.
Gulden's mustard was the 1900 Paris Exposition Winner.
Why do you hate America so much?
Actually Guldens originated in New York City so Ill let you slide on that one.
The McSorleys Ale House mustard is decent too, hot as fuck, but pretty good.
But on that note, Im declaring consensus and the debate over.
Donkey and Ketchup WINS!!!!
Have a good weekend.
Accountable family values:
The hot dog board 'links' page missed this one:
http://www.saugy.net/
Saugys have been a Rhode Island contained phenomenon since 1869. In the late 1800s Saugys was a staple of the old Canal Street provisions district located at 274 and 285 Canal Street. In 1914 at the age of 12 Leo McCaughey, grandfather of the current owner started working for the Saugy brothers driving a horse-drawn wagon along the cobblestone streets of Providence. Leo later became a salesman for the company, then President and CEO. Saugys are still made much the way they were in days gone by, with quality ingredient and the familiar snap. Saugys are available for all backyard barbecues and tailgate parties throughout New England.
www.hot-dog.org, that's a pretty good site, just when one thinks its there for entertainment, the address -- Connecticut Avenue, NW, 12th floor -- reminds one that hog dogs and sausages are serious business.
In the Southeast Asian supermarket the Thai or Chinese sausages, made in New Jersey or California, are designed to be served with plain boiled white rice, like cheeseburgers go with french fries.
In choosing Asian food, and upon reflection, one should be able to decide between buying more moo shu, pad thai, shrimp toast and chicken soup, and just going ahead and buying some sausages instead.
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