The young Puerto Rican girl working at my local Korean Deli whom I buy my morning coffee from has recently taken to calling me honey and sweetie.
Her terms of endearment are usually lost on me as her incessant insistence that I "have a nice day" immediately puts me in a bad mood almost to the degree that the constant carping of store clerks offering to "help me" makes me want to stab someone to death with a spoon.
Seeing that I too am in no short supply of pleasantries, I have decided to take the high road and fight fire with fire at the same time.
They say that the best defense is a good offense, so I have opted to deploy my oft misunderstood but highly successful two pronged Siam-Kamchatka assault with a verbal volley of "what's shakin' baby” in my best Elvisian dialect to start the day.
Anyone familiar with my parlour game prowess knows that in matters of Risk, Chess, and Global Thermonuclear War once I get my hooks in, its all but over and the fat lady ready to sing, or in this case.... laugh.
Throwing me for a loop, she broke out in laughter upon her hearing my morning greeting, and not in the... what is an old grey haired fart like yourself throwing rap at me type of way but rather in a genuine flirtatious and coquettish school girl giggle.
To quote Johnny Bravo, “it must be nice being you, looking at me"
Well played Senora Boricua, well played indeed.
Laughter may in fact be the best medicine as I have been completely disarmed of my morning grumpiness and now reluctantly withstand the dreaded have a nice day salutation.
Then a peculiar thing happened the other day. This past Friday after our now daily what's shaking baby have a nice day honey ritual she informed me that she loved "that" and then proceeded to make a gesture as if she was mixing a can of paint.
Considering that this is a Korean establishment, the thought that I was about to receive hand release wasn't all that unreasonable, so I applied the full court press as to "what" exactly she loved.
Talladega Nights, she replied.
HUH?
What the hell has that got to do with me getting a happy ending to start my day.
Shake and bake, shake and bake.
4 comments:
good story but i have to tell you that the kamchatka strategy has never beaten me but it is a good starting point because most people don't crowd in that area to start the game so as long as you don't get unlucky with the dice you can usually take territory without spreading yourself too thin.
The worst strategy (in my opinion) is the Australia start because while you have a great defensive position, you can't get the hell out of there without getting bottlenecked.
Finally, my favorite starting point is usually S.America or Africa because you have a good defensive position but also access to the other continents so if you sense some weakness to the north or the east you can take advantage without giving up too much defense.
Silly Rhino, by the time I'm drinking vodka with the Ruskies... its already too late.
Finally those capitalistic pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades ? eh?
Question#1: Is she hott?
Answer #1: Although certainly preferred, when has that ever stopped me?
Youve seen her, she's the only non asian working next door, next time you pop in give her a lil "shake n bake" and see her reaction. Shes like a little mexican monchhichi.
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