Stupid Liberal Tricks

A woman that I am acquainted with recently requested that I procure some ducats for the Letterman Show. Her sense was that as a lifelong New Yorker it was something she might as well get around to, along with walking to the top of the Statue of Liberty and spitting off of the Empire State Building.

If we have learned anything on The Aurora its that chicks dig me, well besides that liberals are bigots that hate gays, blacks, women, and children; man made global warming is a scaremongering fraudulent money grab; and that the democrat party is comprised of America-hating traitors that is.

The fact that chicks dig me is indisputable but the reasoning may be up for debate. Is it because I am handsome and charming or because I deliver the goods? Regardless I suppose that's an area of discussion for another day.

So back to the original plot line and needless to say I made my way to the Ed Sullivan Theater to score some Late Show tickets. To be honest I was a little surprised by the third degree interrogation, besides the usual name rank and contact number, they started asking me what my favorite characters skits and what have you were.

Maybe its because I was at this point irritated by the twentysomething with a clipboard putting me on the griddle or maybe because I was more ornery than usual that day or maybe I just told the truth as I answered that I am old school and used to watch Letterman when he wore wrestling boots and was funny, and now? not so much.

I didn't get the tickets.

Well, if I had it to do all over again my answer would be completely different. I was watching last night and they had one of the funniest skits Ive seen since Chris Elliot's "The Guy Under The Stairs". If I'm not mistaken I believe the character's name was Bill Clinton or something along those lines.

His best joke was when criticizing The Bush War (because let's be honest it has nothing to do with Iraq from the opposition's standpoint) he made the comment that we should not get involved in "civil wars" or "sectarian struggles". Ha ha very funny Dr Jones.

Oh yeah, you don't say......

"My fellow Americans, today our Armed Forces joined our NATO allies in air strikes against Serbian forces responsible for the brutality in Kosovo. We have acted with resolve for several reasons. We act to protect thousands of innocent people in Kosovo from a mounting military offensive. We act to prevent a wider war; to diffuse a powder keg at the heart of Europe that has exploded twice before in this century with catastrophic results. And we act to stand united with our allies for peace. By acting now we are upholding our values, protecting our interests and advancing the cause of peace. " -- Bill Clinton

But you didn't get Congressional approval, so isn't that an "illegal" war? How do you justify said action?

"Ending this tragedy is a moral imperative. It is also important to America's national interest. Take a look at this map. Kosovo is a small place, but it sits on a major fault line between Europe, Asia and the Middle East, at the meeting place of Islam and both the Western and Orthodox branches of Christianity. To the south are our allies, Greece and Turkey; to the north, our new democratic allies in Central Europe. And all around Kosovo there are other small countries, struggling with their own economic and political challenges -- countries that could be overwhelmed by a large, new wave of refugees from Kosovo. All the ingredients for a major war are there: ancient grievances, struggling democracies, and in the center of it all a dictator in Serbia who has done nothing since the Cold War ended but start new wars and pour gasoline on the flames of ethnic and religious division." -- Bill Clinton

Wow that sounds pretty convincing, but America has shown it doesn't have the stomach for a long drawn out war..... why should we stay?

"Right now our firmness is the only hope the people of Kosovo have to be able to live in their own country without having to fear for their own lives. Remember: We asked them to accept peace, and they did. We asked them to promise to lay down their arms, and they agreed. We pledged that we, the United States and the other 18 nations of NATO, would stick by them if they did the right thing. We cannot let them down now.
Imagine what would happen if we and our allies instead decided just to look the other way, as these people were massacred on NATO's doorstep. That would discredit NATO, the cornerstone on which our security has rested for 50 years now." -- Bill Clinton

Well said, I am sold. America must remain vigilant and resolute as a beacon of freedom. Now just replace Kosovo with Iraq because after all whats good for the Serb is good for the Sunni.

In closing I would like to add.....

What's the feckin' matter with these people (dems)? Is it that they really are this stupid and think that people don't remember their own words and actions? Or is that they know their constituents are such blind partisans that they don't care and that a complicit media wont remind everyone else?

Its a sad state for the dem party when Hillary leads the polls and even her supporters that I talk to have no clue where she stands.... on anything.

... I ended up getting tickets and Letterman still aint funny.

EE-Aw!!!